I had a fabulous time with the students and hosts at UTPB!   I want to send a big thank you to Falconpalooza and Student Life for bringing me out to empower their students. Members of the UTPB Crisis Center and 2 uniformed UTPB Police Officers were in attendance as well which was great! I always love it when the campus community comes together to support a common cause and goal.

Instead of having just 2 volunteers I had 4 students ready to step in and help me demonstrate our awesome skills! We got it narrowed down to 2 who did an amazing job pretending to be creepers. We covered the importance of trusting your intuition and being an active ally and we covered why an elbow isn’t a first choice if you’re looking for a vulnerable spot to disable an attacker.   An elbow is a great weapon for us to use against an attacker though!

I fielded a lot of great questions during Q&A including several students who were interested in taking Full Contact Self-Defense classes. One student even commented that since their area is primarily oil infrastructure, a male dominated industry, that there unfortunately are many reports of sexual assaults happening. She emphasized the importance of self-defense training and I chimed in that in addition to self-defense we all need to look out for each other and challenge the rape culture so that we can chip away at the very core of why sexual assaults happen in the first place.

I hope to come back to UTPB soon and teach even more students how they can be their own best protector and live their lives fearlessly with no apologies!

Cheers,

GFB Nicole

I visited Centralia College last week to kick off my 2016 Fight Back! Season! Don’t let this small crowd fool ya…  They were a fierce and  rowdy crew over at Centralia, especially that baseball team 😉 Although Students Fight Back was required for student athletes, there were quite a few other students who came to show their support for a safer campus and learn a few skillz.

One of the new tidbits we are sharing in our 2016 program is that a lot of people get a little consumed by the idea that an attacker is always a stranger, whether a random person on the street or someone you barely know. However statistics prove that it’s much more likely to be an acquaintance.

Case in point, a faculty member at Centralia (who helped Student Activities and the Athletic Department throw a stellar show), shared with me he had a recent incident where a security guard tried to unjustifiably convince him to get in his car. Could this have ended in a no big deal situation? Perhaps. But thankfully we’ll never know, as the department member fully trusted his intuition, refused to get in the car and actually started to call the head of security before the guard trying to get him in the car left. So not only does this story drive home that a creeper can be anyone, including someone who should be “safe,” but also that anyone, regardless of gender, can be harassed and assaulted.

So glad this audience/staff member shared this inspiring story with me (we all need to be sharing our stories) about steps he took to make the community a safer place, for himself and others. And a huge thank you to the Student Activities and Athletic Department for making it possible for me to visit the amazing community at Centralia College. And for sharing your energy and stories. Look forward to visiting you all again soon! Til next time…

Love and Light,

GFB Bree

When I saw Friends University, I was hoping this crew was as welcoming as their name sounded.  Holy cow. They should be called Best Friends Forever and Ever University. I was completely blown away by the generosity (check out this Taylor Swift-quality green room!!!), excitement and energy. We had so much fun!

The energy in the room was simply contagious and they were so into learning about being their own best protector. I love going to schools were I realize my “job” is kind of the coolest thing on the planet. And Friends University made that realization happen.

I have to give a special shout out to FACE for being an incredible host, throwing on a stellar event and, of course, helping me get my cowgirl on whilst in Wichita, KS. They hooked me up with the coolest ranch and suited me up in their FACE T-shirt for perfect riding swag!

Thanks so much Friends University for having myself and Students Fight Back! to throw down with all of you… You are all my BFFs. See you on the road again real soon…

Love and Light,

GFB Bree

I had the pleasure of meeting the badass students and UNIQUE members at Sacramento State last week for Students Fight Back.  The event was hosted by UNIQUE, a super passionate group of student volunteers led by advisor Ajamu Lamumba that brings innovative entertainment to campus.  These folks organized the event down to the last detail including “Students Fight Back” credentials for all the volunteers… it was incredibly awesome!

The students in this audience were super energetic and totally engaged in the program!  We talked about intuition and how being aware of your surroundings is not only simple, but really important from a personal safety and not-being-hit-by-a-door standpoint too. We practiced using our voices to set boundaries, which always seems to be the most uncomfortable thing for folks to get the hang  of.  We all struggle with this, and that is why we spend so much time practicing this super important skill in our seminars!

When it came time to practice the Badass Ballet, you could feel the power in the room.  These men and women were standing up for themselves against their invisible creeper and the more we practiced with our voice, the more confident they became.  The Badass Ballet is an intro to physical self-defense skills and thanks to Jessica Heskin everyone learned that Sac State actually offers a full contact self-defense class on campus at The Well. How great is that?!

The biggest take away for this group was the knowledge that it’s ok to make a scene and use your voice if you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or if your boundaries are being crossed. Using your voice is a great way to deter someone and also catches the attention of passers-by who can then step in as an active bystander.  So often in our life we are told not to make trouble, don’t be mean and just go with the flow.  Well, that doesn’t apply when it comes to your personal safety!  Use your voice…it’s the first tool of self-defense you have and it may be all you need to avoid a physical confrontation.  The best fight is the one never fought!

There were great questions asked during Q&A like, what to do if the attacker has a weapon and what if there are multiple attackers.  My favorite question was, “If someone says ‘hi’ to me, do I ignore them or do I say something?  What if I offend them?”  Well, it’s absolutely your choice and depends on the situation and how that ‘hi’ makes you feel.  If you feel uncomfortable or threatened, then you have the right to enforce your boundary and use your voice if you choose. The fear of offending someone should never be more important than the desire to be safe.  It’s ok if someone thinks you’re mean, or rude or a terrible person if the end result is that you are safe and alive. Who cares what creepy people who are trying to cross your boundaries think! I’d rather err on the side of being safe any day!  And remember, you aren’t obligated to engage in conversation with anyone and you can say NO at any time.  If someone disrespects your no or disregards your personal boundaries, you now have the skills to create a double boundary and know you’re worth fighting for if that person doesn’t back off.

Thank you Sacramento State and UNIQUE for letting me rock out with all of you and share some knowledge that we are really passionate about.  I hope you are all feeling like the empowered badasses that you are!  Go forward peacefully!

Cheers,
GFB Nicole

Just 2 weeks into the SFB fall tour, I stopped by to see our new besties at University of Massachusetts  – Lowell. The team of badasses in Student Activities is killing it over there and had some 400 seats lined up, zip tied, a boss stage and serious sound system. They brought in the big guns.

After sound check, start time slowly creeped. And let’s just say they didn’t quite fill the seats they had hoped to. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, self-defense is a tough sale.

But here is the incredibly awesome news: 1.) There were a solid number of dudes in the crowd. Like over half. 2.) we had FUN! Those who came were super into it. 3.) I had a very real, open conversation with a brilliant group of women who were uber pumped about the program and could hardly wait to share stories: One who, just in the last week, made moves to be an active bystander, looking out for a couple freshman girls who were being creeped on by a guy following them slowly in a car (she threatened to call the cops and he drove away). Another girl shared her “I never thought it could happen to me” story about getting mugged just a few weeks ago and how much she wished she had this course before that had happened. We talked for a quite a while after the program, laughing, chatting and sharing our fears… being vulnerable about a scary topic that can seem a lot less scary when you are in a safe place to talk about it and can learn very basic skills to deal with it.

So yeah, they didn’t get the masses they were looking for, but we did connect with some real leaders in the community who want to take more steps towards a safer program by bringing us back for more intense classes. These are also the people who will continue chatting about the program for a while, sparking important conversations with the peeps who couldn’t make it to the seminar.

And I most definitely chalk that up as a BIG win.

Thank you SO much University of Massachusetts – Lowell for letting me hang and putting on such an amazing program. You all are the bomb and I can’t wait to see you again soon! Till next time..

Love and Light,
GFB Bree

I watched through the window of my rehearsal room as hundreds of students began winding through campus en masse and excitedly filing into the gym.  These were brand new students- freshmen- gearing up for their first year at Western Oregon University. This was Student Orientation Week and Students Fight Back was invited by the Student Health & Counseling Center and Student Leadership & Activities to give these young folks some options and tools for their toolboxes for their exciting new college experience.  After everyone was seated (all 1100 of them) I felt the electricity in the air and knew we were going to have a great time together.

The show opened with a presentation by Abby’s House, Women’s Center on campus.  We watched the hilariously awesome “Tea Consent” video.  If you haven’t seen this, watch it now! They announced Students Fight Back and I could see that this crowd was ready to bring the house down with their awesomeness!  I loved that there was such a wide demographic of students represented: athletes, women, men, LGBTQ, disabled…there was even a sign language interpreter!

We went over the importance of why fighting back is a personal choice and that victim blaming is always wrong and unacceptable. We clarified that a creeper can be ANYONE and is not necessarily a stranger.  Heck, most of the time (57% to be exact) assaults are committed by someone we know which is why it’s important to use our awareness to make decisions for ourselves. We watched the bystander video and everyone applauded the folks who stepped up in the clip.  Nothing like hearing 1100 people cheer and recognize when others are being true bystanders and making a difference!  Empowering!

When it was time to practice our physical skills and I had the pleasure of both a male and female volunteer…a Students Fight Back first!  Let’s face it, women can be creepers too and it’s important to remember that all humans have the hotspots we discussed.  We practiced our verbal strategies and the thunder of hearing over a thousand voices scream out “NO. BACK UP, I DON’T WANT ANY PROBLEMS” gave me the chills.  Their voices echoed throughout the gym and I felt the power all the way to my bones.  Watching them practicing the badass ballet was a blast because everyone seemed to be having a super fun time kicking the crap out of their invisible creeper.  Way to go Western!

I opened it up to Q&A and got such thoughtful, honest, probing questions.  It warmed my heart to see that everyone was really absorbing the information and figuring things out in their own minds. Here are some of the questions that stood out to me:

Q: What if you have disabilities…how do you fight?

A: Fighting is always a personal choice, and if you choose to fight you can modify the badass ballet depending on your situation ie: a heel palm to the groin instead of the face.

Q: I’ve heard that women should wear their hair back in a ponytail if they go out so that no one can grab their hair to abduct them.  What do you think?

A: We think you should wear your hair however you want! We will never teach you that you can’t go where you want, wear want you want or do what you want.  The skills we taught you today will enable you to live how you choose and have options should you ever need them.

Q: Can men take self-defense classes?

A: Absolutely!  There are co-ed classes and men can also choose to take a men’s only class if they’d prefer.

Q: What are your thoughts on how someone dresses in relation to rape?

A:  How someone dresses has absolutely NOTHING to do with rape or sexual assault.  Sexual assault is not about sex even though sexual organs are involved.  It is about a perpetrator having power, control and domination over someone else and objectifying and humiliating them. This is called power arousal and is very different from sexual arousal.  Sexual arousal is based on respect and mutual attraction.  Predators are looking for vulnerable targets they can have power over and are not concerned with how someone dresses or how they look.  That is why survivors of sexual assault range in age from infants to the elderly.  No one is EVER to blame for violence perpetrated against them.

We practiced the bad ass ballet one more time and I asked if they felt powerful.  I wasn’t surprised when I saw smiles and joy on the faces of the group when they answered back with a powerful YES!  Thank you Western, for being such an engaged, attentive audience.  I enjoyed our time together and I hope you learned some skills that will give you confidence in knowing that you have a choice if you ever need to fight back.  You are all badasses. Go forward peacefully!

Cheers,
GFB Nicole

It was really exciting to bring our badass Students Fight Back event to SUNY-Potsdam! These students really came together to support one another all while learning how to be their own best protectors. At the top of our SFB program, we share our story and emphasize that because violence touches each and every one of us, violence is truly an epidemic. The reason why we at SFB & GFB feel that it is so important to talk about the reality of violence in our everyday lives is that we know the more we talk about it, the more we will be able to realize we are not alone. When we realize that the experiences we ourselves have lived through or the experiences of close friends or family members are not isolated events, we allow ourselves to build greater connections within our own communities.

A week before the SFB event in Potsdam, a tragic event struck a nearby campus. What I admire about the students of Potsdam and the students in the surrounding area, is that they were able to come together after this tragedy. It was wonderful to have students familiar with our GFB program show up as well as a few first-timers! We were very lucky to have Bradon, a senior at SUNY-Potsdam, return for a second year as our not-so-scary Creeper McCreeperson volunteer. I want to add a special shout out to Jackie and Ruth for putting together and running a truly special SFB event.

Thank you & go forward peacefully!
-SFB Morgan

Freshman = fresh blood. Crap schedule. Dorm food. …And eager. And awesome.

I had the privilege of throwing down with the incoming Freshman class of University of Pittsburgh-Johnstown. They were super engaged, open, laughing, all about looking out for each other and making campus a fun AND safe place. With a few knees to the groin thrown in there. Of course.

Since Students Fight Back meets Title IX requirements, we’ve been getting this call quite a bit (props to the colleges for being so proactive from day-one): to get rowdy with the new kids and talk about serious subjects, like consent, being an active bystander and sexual assault on campus. I’m so proud of our program for being able to have real talk about these issues without “lecturing” our college students or using “fear-tactics.” Not only does this keep them from shutting down, but by treating our future leaders like the adults they are, we are inviting them into the conversation. Raising the bar and asking them to step up their game. Be the badasses they are born to be. Putting on their adult sassy pants and being the generation of change. Hello. Cool stuff.

Thank you UP-Johnstown for allowing me to be a part of your welcoming week activities and for supplying your future rockstars with the tools they need to have a fun and fierce college experience. You done real good. Till next time…

Love and Light,
GFB Bree

HEY LIONS!!  (Hey What?!)

You RAWK, that’s what!

Today I had the pleasure of meeting a very enthusiastic group of students for the Students Fight Back event at TAMUC for Lion Camp.  What is Lion Camp you ask?  Well, it’s a three-day, fun-filled experience for incoming freshmen and transfer students to educate them on specific university topics.  The unique thing about this SFB Lion Camp event was that it was open to the entire university community- so athletes, Greeks and other groups attended as well!  Our Lion Camp sponsors were incredibly awesome, friendly and helpful.  In fact, members of their team warmed up the crowd with some karaoke to my warm up playlist!  That was a first!

Once we got started we were on a roll and didn’t stop!  We powered through the importance of trusting your intuition and why being an active bystander is so important.  Then we charged into learning some verbal strategies when dealing with a creeper.  My volunteer, Jay, really got into his part and had the audience cracking up with his ‘creeper’ lines! Then we backed that up with some physical strategies we like to call the Bad Ass Ballet.  We all laughed and we kicked some invisible creeper booty!

The best part about speaking to audiences like this is looking out into the crowd and seeing the non-verbal cues that they are connecting with the info in a way that screams out that they  ‘get it’.  They know what’s up.  They know that they are worth fighting for and they now know that they don’t need permission to set up their own personal boundaries or demand that those boundaries are respected.  The SFB and GFB style is so empowering because not only do we teach students new skills, but we help them see inside themselves to recognize the strengths they already have.  That’s called full circle bad-assery (yes I made up that word and I’m ok with that!)

I also have to give a major shout out to the entire community of Commerce.  Every single person I came into contact with – at the store, the restaurant, the hotel, on the street- was so INCREDIBLY NICE!  I’m not exaggerating- every person I spoke to or ran into was friendly, smiling and sending out such positive energy.  It was so lovely to be in such welcoming, hospitable community.  Fist bump to you Commerce!

TAMUC, it was such a wonderful experience to meet you all!  Thank you to Kelly, Evan, Christopher, Jay and the entire team for helping to make the event such a success.  Go forward peacefully!

Cheers!
GFB Nicole